I Think I’m Going to Hell

Okay. Writers who know (and literary agents who know better) hate adverbs. H*A*T*E*! They are overused. (You have no idea how much I wanted my previous sentence to read, “They are simply overused,” or “They are so very overused.” It’s endemic!!)  In fact, Stephen King has said, “I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs.” (On Writing, 2000)

So, like a good student, I went to my “find” feature in Word and typed “ly.” Sure enoughly, I had eleven (that’s 1-1) in my prologue…that’s two pages…four paragraphs. Yep. And, I had a whopping FIFTY in my first chapter. This is only counting the adverbs with “ly”! It isn’t including the non-ly words.

Holy VERY moly, Batman! I just deleted “very” about a gazillion times! I’m seriously very upset by how redundantly and abusively I overuse adverbs. (Yes, the previous sentence was intended.)

Good gravy! Here are a few whoppers from my story. “Wholly convinced.” Can you be partially convinced? I think not. “Completely agreed.” Really? “Darted away quickly.” When’s the last time you saw something dart slowly?

My, oh my. I’m going to hell.

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Categories: Uncategorized, Writing | Tags: , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “I Think I’m Going to Hell

  1. Very funny!

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